Peacefully Parenting Together After You’ve Parted
According to koodakpress، When couples with children get a divorce, no matter what the circumstances of the breakup are, one fact remains: You will still be parenting together. Learning quickly how to work effectively with one another in your parenting roles will benefit you, and more importantly your children.
Divorce adds additional challenges to the already difficult job of being parents. When a couple is bound together in love, although it’s not always easy, they are able to work out their differences because of mutual interests, respect and the special bond they have. However, when a couple divorces, that all changes. The key for divorced parents is to stay focused on areas of common ground. You each love, care about and are vitally interested in the well-being of your children.
Here are some tips that may help:
- Even though you may sometimes feel or believe that your former partner is not focused on your children’s well-being, give him or her the benefit of the doubt. Since you will never know the actual truth, if you choose to believe the best about the other parent, you will feel greater calm, peace and love. Doing this not only improves your own well-being, it also helps your children.
- Avoid evaluating or complaining openly about how the other is parenting. If needed, choose one close and trusted friend who is willing to hear all of your rants and complaints. Don’t ever share these kinds of feelings with your children.
- Don’t attempt to control how your former partner parents. You get to parent the way you want. Let the other parent do the same. Bring any necessary items of disagreement to conflict transformation sessions (described below).
- Maintain family traditions and holiday celebrations. It’s fine and reasonable to introduce some changes and new additions or ideas. But be sure to continue with other traditions even as family dynamics change. This will help your children feel stable, safe and secure, particularly during times of transition.
- When speaking about the other parent, compliment, praise and emphasize their strengths, gifts and special qualities. Remember, the other parent represents half of who your child is now and is becoming. When you criticize, belittle or degrade the other parent, your child feels as though you are doing the same to him or her, and speaking to who that child may become. Now, in regards to talking about your former partner, it is more important than ever to follow the axiom, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.